Don't Ditch

Dear Jitters,

I have this group that I hang out with all the time but some of my friends in the group seem to be leaving and becoming bullies. They don’t remember their true friends anymore. My other friends keep on saying we need to ditch them but I’m too close to them and I don’t know how to tell them that they have been mean lately. What do I do?




Dear Anonymous,

You seem to be having some issues with friends changing their attitudes towards you and others and “becoming bullies.” I commend you for not simply “ditching” them as suggested by your other friends; this says a lot about your loyalty and value of friendship. I would advise you not to confront the friends in question in a vindictive manner about their recent behavior. Instead, the next time you notice them treating someone badly, let them know that you do not accept their actions. Try casually asking why they haven’t been around as often as before and why they seem to be acting differently. Simply calling them out on any bulling and opening the door to discussion will make a world of a difference to you, your friends, and those they may be treating badly. If they continue to be influenced by the wrong crowd after this, I recommend giving them some time to discover exactly where they belong (while still taking action against any bullying). Middle school is a time for deciphering who one is, and it’s only fair for you to allow yourself and your friends to do so.

Good luck!

Signed, Jitters